Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Aduh.. 🎶Sakitnya tu di sini di dalam hati ku 🎶

Baru jer suarakan nak jual mini burger atau tortila. Tp, jawapan yang dapat, "bagi keluarga makan dulu sebelum nak menjual, masak pun rasa tak sampai lagi". Well, Support itu terlalu mahal rupanya.

Aduh.. 🎶Sakitnya tu di sini di dalam hati ku 🎶

Pagi tadi kena juga sedas,"tumis daun kari tu dulu, masak kari je pun. Takkan itu pun lupa". Huhu.. Memang terlupa pun. Dah bertahun2 tak masak kari, ni baru nak try masak balik sebab time cuti jer bau aci belakang rumah masak kari. Sedap oo bau dia. Nasib awak ler. Awak tu dah la selalu masak kari tak menjadi jer.

Aduh.. 🎶Sakitnya tu di sini di dalam hati ku 🎶

Awak memang tak berapa gemar masak dan masak pun rasa tak sesedap mana. Tapi, gigihkan juga la masak untuk keluarga. Balik keje kena terus masuk dapur. Tak boleh nak rehat. Nanti kena sound tepek pulak. Janji boleh makan sudah la. Kita makan pun untuk hidup, bukan hidup untuk makan. Bersyukur la..

Aduh.. 🎶Sakitnya tu di sini di dalam hati ku 🎶

Sabar la duhai hati.. Redha jer la.. Memang hidup diuji macam-macam.

Pasal masak pun jadi hal. Apadaaa.. Nak makan, makan. Tak nak makan, sudah. Huh!

Aduh.. 🎶Sakitnya tu di sini di dalam hati ku 🎶

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Chicken pox di awal tahun 2017

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
اللهم صلي على محمد وعلى آل محمد

Pembukaan tahun 2017 ni dengan ujian daripada Allah anak-anak jatuh sakit.

Mula dengan jannah demam panas, suhu tinggi selama seminggu. Makan antibiotik ok seminggu. Selesema tak ok pula. Makan antibiotik macam ok sikit.

Alee kena chicken pox dulu start 12/1/2017. Mulanya hantar ke tadika. Lepas tu cikgu check badan alee ada sebiji dua bintik merah. Cikgu suruh bawa ke klinik untuk check ada chicken pox ker idak sebab ada kes anak kat tadika tu kena chicken pox. Sekali doktor kompemkan memang ada chicken pox.

Bila dapat jer pengesahan doktor, terus call akak admin tanya opis ni gunapakai pekeliling cuti kuarantin tak?  Dia kata gunapakai. Ok, great! Terus pegi ofis isi borang cuti kuarantin. Start la cuti 5 hari. Taska pun diarah tutup lebih seminggu oleh JKM.

Selang beberapa hari tu, jad pula kena chicken pox. Mohon sambung cuti kuarantin lagi. Kira dekat 2 minggu juga la tak pergi kerja. Jad punya lambat sikit keringnya. Lebih daripada seminggu. Tapi, alhamdulillah alee dan jad tak de la beriya menggaru dan elok jer aktif bermain.

Sementelah cuti dua minggu, lepas habis sekolah, jannah balik rumah. Main-main dengan adik-adik. Memang tak dapat nak asingkan. 1 minggu lepas jad baik chicken pox, jannah pula kena.

Jannah kena paling teruk. Demam panas sampai 39.5°c. Masa bawa ke hospital shah alam sebab demam tinggi tu, baru jer 3 biji tumbuh. Siang tu dan beberapa hari seterusnya chicken pox dengan ganasnya keluar hampir keseluruh badan. Muka, kaki, tangan, kepala tak yah cakap la. Malam jer demam dan garu-garu terutama kat kaki. Ibu paling risau pasal jannah. Makan antibiotik dan ubat demam tanpa cengkelat. Dh hari ke5 baru ibu stop ubat demam jannah sebab dah tak ada demam atau dedau. Antibiotik esok last.

Chicken pox jannah pun dah kering semuanya. Alhamdulillah. Tunggu yg kering-kering tu tanggal jer. Tapi, masa ni la paling kritikal. Takut boleh berjangkit.

Masa jannah kena chicken pox, abahnya yang ambil cuti jaga jannah. Abah kesian kat ibu dah cuti lama jaga alee n jad. Terima kasih en. Hyatt.

Ni dengar cha pula kena chicken pox.. Siannyer baby ibu yang baru setahun lebih tu.. Harap-harap tak teruk macam kak jannah ek. Mommy, bertabah la yer!

Awal tahun ni rasanya penularan chicken pox la sebab anak kawan kat ofis pun kena. Doktor kat klinik pun kata ramai staf organisasi tempat kami kerja tu minta cuti kuarantin sebab anak chicken pox.

Tapi, khabar angin bertiup mengatakan yang organisasi kami kerja ni belum gunapakai lagi pekeliling cuti kuarantin tu.. Huarghh.. (ToT) nangis mak!

Apaper pun, tq along sebab tolong teman dan jaga anak-anak time abahnya balik kampung hari tu. 😘😘

Friday, January 20, 2017

To my dearest children

Dear kids,

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I see that you’ve grown over night. Your face is more defined, your eyes look older. A part of me is excited and in awe; I know you have so much ahead of you. Another part is scared because time is racing and I can’t slow it down. I’m afraid that I haven’t always been awake and noticing, and that somehow I have slept through the magic of your growing. I wonder, have I enjoyed you enough? Have I given you what you needed? Is your heart still whole? Is your spirit unbroken?

I’m not always good at this. I’m not always as good as I want to be at being your mom. I want to be great; and sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m not.

Sometimes I get it, and sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I do it right, and sometimes I completely miss it.

Everyday I make mistakes.

Sometimes I snap when I should be sensitive. Sometimes I lecture and give chores when what you needed was a hug. Sometimes I completely and utterly miss it. I know that I do. I mistake your pain for complaining or your sad heart for a bad attitude. I watch myself miss it, and later I grieve that I didn’t respond differently.

I miss it when I am tired, and you get my leftovers at the end of a long day. I wish that you didn’t, but sometimes you do.

I miss it when I am scared. I am scared of big things and little things. I really thought adults had it all figured out, but I am one now, and it turns out we don’t. Sometimes fear snatches my heart and I can’t seem to think of anything else. I forget to relax and to enjoy you. I forget to smile and to laugh. I’m working on that.

I miss it when I am lost. I’m struggling with my own demons and it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it’s anxiety or it’s depression, but it’s never, ever your fault. I will keep striving for wholeness so that when you reach those obstacles I can help you do the same.

I know that it is easy to hang on to the negative things and forget all the positive, but I want to set the record straight. When I look at you I am SO. PROUD. When I look at you I see good. I see someone who is mighty. I wonder how I have been trusted with such a treasure. Your heart is pure and soft. You are gentle and kind, you are vivacious and fierce.

I am forever your biggest cheerleader and your greatest fan.

Please keep helping me to see you and to know you. Keep telling me when I hurt your feelings. Keep sharing with me your fears and your insecurities and we will figure it out together.

I’m okay with making mistakes, but I’m never okay with losing your heart. Your heart is what matters to me.

I hope that my weakness teaches you something. I hope that when you come upon your own brokenness, tiredness, fear, and confusion, that you will be okay with it. I pray that your imperfections won’t scare you as they have me. I pray that you won’t run from them, but that you’ll wrestle with them and you will keep showing up, saying sorry, and trying again.

We don’t always get it right and that’s okay.

We are all professional mistake makers, and you will make lots and lots of mistakes. You will make countless amounts of mistakes, just like I have, but not one could darken the light I see when I look at you. You are my treasure, you are my reason.

Even though life is racing by, sometimes we have a moment. Sometimes we can reach out, grab time, and hold it. The world stops, all is quiet, and we really see each other. In this moment when I glimpse the person you are and who you’re becoming, all I can think is…

Wow.

On this morning, where it seems you’ve grown overnight, I want to tell you that you are wonderful. You amaze me everyday – and as I watch you, you inspire me. You inspire me to pull out the greatness that’s inside me. In this family we will make mistakes, but we will keep doing it together and we will keep holding each other other tight.

It turns out I’m never, ever, going to be perfect, but I am always and forever yours, and I’m always and forever on your team. That I can promise you.

I love you.

Love,

Ibu

Written by WONDEROAK Blog but this is what I felt.

#LoveWhatMatters

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Azam 2017

Tahun ni ada 2 jer azam baru.
Satu, turun berat badan sebanyak 10kg dalam masa setahun secara sihat.
Dua, selesaikan satu hutang personal loan.
******************************************
All the best!
Welcome 2017 
。❤。。
。✨ 。。
✨。\|/。
Happy New Year
。/|\。☕
。。 。。
。 。  

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Penutup 2016

Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah. Selawat dan salam buat junjungan kita nabi Muhammad SAW.

Entry sebelum ni awal 2015. Sekarang akhir 2016. Maknanya dah dekat 2 tahun blog ni kena tinggal. Dah bersawang 🕸 🕷 kronik ni. 😁

Jom recap apa yang berlaku dari awal 2015 hingga akhir 2016.

AWAL 2015

Pendidikan

Dalam proses rayuan menamatkan pengajian peringkat sarjana dalam pengurusan fasiliti. Alhamdulillah, lepas berhadapan isu antara boleh sambung dengan tak boleh sambung, keputusannya, boleh sambung dengan izinNya.

Pulun la start cari literature, draft apa nak kaji dan sebagainya. Amik cuti dalam 2 minggu kot untuk dapatkan data. Keje kat opis alhamdulillah dibantu oleh cik ana m, cik bos dan juga t.a-t.a tersayang. Lepas tu penulisan banyak buat waktu pagi, hujung minggu dan kadang-kadang time kat opis dengan kebenaran pengarah. Namun, disebabkan terlalu nak perfect, sem tu tak lepas.

Dalam dilema ingat gagal lagi sekali, tapi dengan izin Allah, keputusan sem tu jadi TL. Jadi, ada peluang untuk tamatkan penulisan. Akhirnya, dalam Feb 2016 submit dissertation lengkap. Alhamdulillah lulus dan boleh grad.. Yea.. 🎊🎊🎊 November 2016 konvo.. Yea.. 🎓🎓🎓 Rezeki ayah dapat tengok kami konvo kali ni.

Syukran ya Allah..

Kerjaya

Untuk laluan kerjaya, November 2016 pergi interview kenaikan pangkat 48. Keputusan tak keluar lagi. Kalau ada rezeki, alhamdulillah. Kalau tak ada, alhamdulillah. Allah sebaik-baik perancang.

Transformasi pertama pada Feb 2016 masih kekal di bahagian projek. Tapi, transformasi kedua pada Disember 2016 ditukarkan ke bahagian dasar. Masih tak ada tugasan khas lagi di sana. Kerja sekarang adalah menyiapkan paperwork VO dan EOT projek terdahulu. Menanti penuh debaran ni ada task di bahagian baru.

Keluarga

Sepanjang 2015 dan 2016 ni, alhamdulillah kesihatan diri, suami dan anak-anak adalah baik.

Jannah pergi ke pelbagai department di  Hospital Serdang dan HKL. Hasil daripada beberapa siri pemeriksaan pelbagai pakar, akhirnya Jannah disahkan mempunyai masalah pembelajaran dan dah dapat kad OKU. Tahun 1 nanti Jannah akan masuk kelas khas. In sha Allah.

Alee alhamdulillah dah boleh membaca bahan bacaan bahasa melayu dan iqra 2.

Jad.. Hmmm.. Macam tu la. Makin bijak bercakap dan pandai memujuk. Dah tak pakai pampers.